Parties

After all the salutes to their happiness,
the bride and groom will find
their new lives are already packed with memories.

A wedding means celebration, as friends and family honor the bride and groom with an array of pre- and post-wedding parties. The bride finds herself the center of attention at showers, luncheons and dinners where her biggest responsibility is to enjoy herself!

The Engagement Party

Parents traditionally host the first engagement party, held either on or soon after the day the announcement appears in the newspapers. Occasionally, the parents of the bride and groom will host the same party, but more often separate parties are held.
Engagement parties often serve an important function. It is a convenient way for parents to introduce their child’s fiancé to family and friends. And of course some parents find this party an enjoyable way to get to know their child’s fiancé better as well.

Showers

Traditionally, showers are given for the bride, but today it is not unusual to find the groom at these lively functions. Chances are he will be just as delighted about the gifts with which they’ll furnish their new home.
Showers are given by any friend or relative who wants to do something special for the couple. Customarily, members of the immediate family of the bride and groom do not host a shower. When the bride’s sister or the groom’s mother give a shower, it is too much like asking for gifts. However, every bride is entitled to at least one shower—the laws of etiquette are there to help, not hinder, the effort. Often, it is the honor attendant with the help of the maids, who volunteers to host a shower. Since the shower is always given by someone other than the bride, this is one instance when registry information can be included with the invitation.

Types of Showers

Imagination is the only limitation when deciding on the theme for a shower, but it must be coordinated with the bride.
Because of the many types of showers possible, it does not make sense to have two of the same type of shower if the couple needs a variety of items.
Today there are many "home party" businesses that also specialize in bridal showers. From kitchen and pantry items to home accessories and even lingerie and intimate items, these businesses bring their products and provide a sales demonstration so party-goers are able to purchase their shower gift from items the bride chooses during the shower. Guests are also able to do some shopping for themselves at the same time. With this type of shower the hostess usually has little to prepare and guests don’t need to worry about a gift ahead of time.
Other shower themes can be as diverse as each individual bride. To solicit a variety of gifts for the bride an "Around the Clock" shower can be given. Each guest is given a time of day (or hour of the day) to use as the basis for the gift they choose. For example 8:00am may give a toaster, 6:00pm a frying pan, etc., the better the imagination, the more creative the gifts can be! A "Spice Shower" invites guests to bring a bottle of spice and a recipe that uses the spice along with their gift. A "Pantry Party" likewise incorporates bringing gifts to help the newlyweds stock up on basic food essentials. A gourmet recipe shower invites guests to bring a recipe along with one utensil needed to prepare it. For the romantic couple a "Candlelight Shower" will provide them with gifts such as candles, vases, bath & body products and romantic musical CDs. Seasonal and Holiday showers can include gifts to get a couple started on decorations or other items used for special occasions. For those with crafty friends a "Quilting Shower" can provide a very unique gift the bride will cherish forever.
Each guest is asked to make a quilt square at home and then join at the party to put it all together. If a shower is given by co-workers, most often it is held at the work place at a break, over lunch-time or after hours and one big gift can be given by the group.
Many showers even include the groom, however, a lingerie shower is appropriate when only women will be present. When both men and women are invited, a hobby or travel shower is unusual and it solicits gifts the couple can enjoy together. Other ideas for a couples shower can include a themed dinner and board games or even a mock "newlywed game" which provides fun and entertainment for all the couples who attend. Another popular shower for both couples and singles is a Wine & Cheese Tasting Shower. For this shower attendees are asked to bring two bottles of wine, one for tasting and one as a gift for the bridal couple. Toasts to the bridal couple are given by the guests as they sample the wine.
The wine & cheese shower is most appropriate for couples who already have many items for their home and of course, enjoy wine. A fun theme for couples who may not have many household items is the "Handy Hardware Shower". This type of shower can incorporate a variety of helpful gifts that can be found at a hardware store (or elsewhere). Gifts such as a hammer, step ladder, broom, pail, shovel, etc. are appropriate. The host/hostess can use this theme and incorporate tools in the decorations and invitations. For this shower guests are asked to include a handy household hint written on a card and presented with their gift.
The list of ideas goes on and on. It is best to use the interests of the bride and groom and their needs as the basis for the type of shower decided on. From there, creativity and planning will make the shower a sure success.

The Maids' Luncheon

The maids’ luncheon (or tea) is another popular pre-wedding party. Bridesmaids give the party as a "farewell" to the bride, although the bride may host the party herself.
This luncheon may take place at home or in a restaurant, wherever the bride and her ladies can take time to get together. The bride may give her ladies their wedding mementos at this time, schedule final dress fittings, display her gifts or simply revel in her friends’ company.

Refreshments are usually simple, such as finger sandwiches and coffee, and almost always include the Pink Lady’s Cake. This cake is made with a thimble, ring or coin baked inside. Tradition predicts a bright future for the attendant who gets the piece with the trinket in it, for she will be the next to marry.

The Bachelor and Bachelorette Party

Today both bachelor and bachelorette parties are equally popular. These types of parties are generally very casual and emphasize having fun, unwinding and celebrating the wedding. The party may or may not include a dinner and takes place in a home, a club or the private dining room of a restaurant.
These celebrations often incorporate a theme and can include attending a sporting event, going to a comedy club or on a shopping excursion to Chicago or the Mall of America. Some enjoy activities such as laser tag, paintball, gambling, golfing, bowling or even camping.
Getting there can be half the fun when you hire a limousine, bus or other transportation service to take partygoers from one destination to another. This also alleviates the responsibility of designated drivers, allowing everyone the opportunity to celebrate.
If alcoholic beverages are served, the party should be scheduled several days before the wedding. No one will want to look less than his/her best for the day of the wedding.

The Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner, held immediately after the rehearsal, can be as simple or elaborate as the host wishes. However, it should never upstage the wedding itself. It is best to go to a restaurant or club. This eliminates anyone in the immediate family having to deal with entertaining and clean-up the night before the wedding.
Traditionally, the groom’s parents are responsible for the cost of the rehearsal dinner. If they are from out of town, they may ask the mother of the bride to help with reservations. But it is perfectly acceptable to have a godparent, friend or member of the bride’s family do the honor of hosting this function.
The guest list will include the attendants, the bride and groom’s immediate family, the ceremony official (and spouse, if any), plus any out-of-town guests, family or friends the couple or the host wishes to invite. If it has not already been done, the attendants’ gifts may be distributed at this occasion.
All will fare better if they make it an early evening. The best party—the wedding —is yet to happen!

Gift Opening Party

Nowadays many couples plan gift opening parties. This small gathering usually only includes the bride and groom’s families and members of the bridal party. More often than not, gifts are opened the day after the wedding or soon after the newlyweds return from their honeymoon.
When held the day after the wedding, the gift-opening party is often planned around a meal. Snacks and refreshments left over from the reception may also be served.

But the purpose of the party, of course, is to open the wedding gifts. A few moments of planning will save headaches later, therefore a careful record of who sent what is a necessity. A guest book with a gift record section, available from stationers, book stores and bridal shops, is recommended.
After all, wedding parties and all they involve are not meant to be work — they are meant to be enjoyed. That’s what parties are for!